Scatterbungle Page 2

  Humphrey, who had managed to catch up with the situation using the soft wiles of his Moglin Flitterwig nature on Samantha, started to talk, so calmly and quietly, that Ella, Samantha and Charlie had to lean right across the table to hear him.

  Humphrey’s dark hair flopped over his moony eyes as he spoke. He wore a black polo-neck sweater that matched his demeanour—completely cool. It was impossible to imagine Humphrey ever getting ruffled. He passed his hand over his chin as he ruminated. ‘I don’t suppose there are too many coincidences in your life, Ella,’ he said, nodding to himself. He blew his hair out of his face, a face that looked like it had never seen a day of sunlight. ‘You know, being the you-know-what,’ he said, even more quietly still. ‘It’s like you’ve had a premonition or something.’ Humphrey sat back and raised an eyebrow.

  ‘Then you have to talk to Wheelbarrow or Posiblemente or Samuel at once,’ Charlie chimed in, alluding to the three most powerful Flitterwigs in their world—Ms Wheelbarrow was Hedgeberry’s headmistress, Don Posiblemente was the Keeper of the Flitterwig Files, and Samuel Happenstance was the chairman of the Rooniun—the Magical Government (or Prime Minister of Flitterwiggery, if you prefer).

  Charlie’s Protector instincts were primed. Something unusual was certainly coming to pass, and action was surely the only option. Charlie gulped back his tingling nerves and tried to remember that he really did enjoy adventures, in spite of the bluster of emotions that came with them. His feet began to tap so fast they were almost a blur.

  ‘Settle, Charlie,’ said Samantha sweetly, darting her eyes around the dining hall. ‘Let’s not draw attention!’ she shushed, so loudly that a giggling Brownie Flitterwig sitting nearby looked up from his breakfast in alarm. Charlie almost pounced on her.

  ‘Which is precisely why we’re being so quiet,’ said Humphrey, one moony eye opening and looking at Samantha.

  Ella was hoping the newsflash was nothing but a coincidence. Something inside her told her it wasn’t, however, and her hair fanned about her in agreement. She pulled it back in a knot and looked to Charlie hopefully.

  Charlie patted her hand reassuringly, so quickly it was barely visible. ‘Maybe there’s nothing to worry about,’ he said, sounding much more certain than he felt. He knew how Ella didn’t like to bother the authorities unnecessarily, but he needed to take this strange connection between her dreams and the news in The Daily Flitterwig seriously. Right now! Oh, what was he to do?

  He scanned the dining room for a clue. But nothing came to him, except the awareness that there was a frog and a pixie in his pocket having a full-blown wrestling match.

  He looked at Ella apologetically and plunged his hand into his pocket to grab the fighting duo. He held Dixon and Harold in his fists under the table and gave them a stern talking to.

  ‘Behave yourselves,’ he hissed to the scrambling creatures. ‘Don’t you know Ella has a bit of a predicament on her hands?’

  Dixon’s eyes opened so wide at the mention of his darling Ella’s name in the same sentence as the word ‘predicament’ that they fairly bulged against Charlie’s finger. He was about to launch into a characteristic outburst of beating himself about the head when Samantha stole the moment.

  ‘Ooooh,’ she cooed in a pitch unlike any other sound, then she slipped right off her seat and onto the floor.

  All eyes in the dining hall had turned to the cause of Samantha’s coo—a group of boy Salamander Flitterwigs getting up from a table nearby. One of them, with a deft tweak of his ear, Personified his breakfast dish. Instantly his greasy bowl sprouted wings, arms and legs, winked at him, then grabbed the spoon from his hand and flew off towards the kitchen.

  A posse of adoring girls giggled and blushed as the boys walked across the hall, commanding attention with their fearless strides. Samantha let out a smitten sigh from under the table, making Charlie, Ella and Humphrey look at one another and snicker.

  Salamanders are considered the finest looking of the Flitterwigs. They are pale as alabaster (a fine trait in a Flitterwig), with high foreheads and strong jaws and flame red curls that catch the light of the sun in such a way that they seem permanently ablaze. And not only are Salamanders particularly impressive to look at, but they are excellent at controlling fires, and they are brilliant at Dream Catching and Unweaving—able to draw out important messages from the subconscious mind simply by placing their hands on one’s ears…

  All except Max Pepper, of course. He was friends with the Salamander Flitterwigs, being one of them, but he sort of missed out somewhere on the most admired parts that usually came with the package.

  For starters Max was a bit short or slumped or something—always shuffling everywhere with his head down, rather than striding high like the others. He was always pulling at his collar, too, like he was perpetually uncomfortable. And he was hopeless with fire and dreams!

  Perhaps that was why he had a bit of a temper, which, again, didn’t help him fit in with his kind. Something his temper did help, however, was his skateboarding. When he skateboarded, he was a maniac—fast and daring. Second only to Ella herself.

  ‘Aren’t they dreamy?’ cooed Samantha, reappearing at the table and rubbing her head where she’d bumped it on her way up.

  ‘Of course!’ said Charlie, slapping his head in delight. ‘That’s it! Maybe we don’t have to speak to the authorities quite yet!’

  Humphrey and Charlie looked at each other, realisation dawning.

  ‘In Instinctamology,’ said Charlie excitedly, ‘who are the best Dream Catchers and Unweavers?’

  ‘Salamanders!’ said Humphrey simply. Charlie hi-fived him.

  ‘But we’re not friends with any,’ said Ella, frowning.

  ‘You’re friends with Max Pepper,’ corrected Charlie. ‘You go to skateboarding championships with him all the time.’

  ‘Friends? I don’t think so! I am not going to talk to Max I’m-So-Angry Pepper about someone from my dreams appearing in The Daily Flitterwig!’ said Ella, flushing. ‘For starters, he’s rubbish at Dream Catching and Unweaving, as you well know. And, anyway, I hardly know him at all!’

  Charlie and Humphrey looked at Ella in the same way they looked at Dixon when he was having one of his nonsensical emotional fits.

  ‘Well, you actually do,’ said Humphrey settling back against the wall and closing his eyes again.

  ‘Forgetaboutit,’ said Ella, scooping up her breakfast dishes and standing up to leave. In spite of her special powers, Ella hadn’t quite mastered the simple art of the Personification of plates yet, so she would have to walk the dishes to the kitchen herself.

  Charlie was right, Ella and Max often travelled together, visiting other countries for skateboarding competitions. Ben Running and Gloria Ulnus often went with them too. They were the four top skateboarders at Hedgeberry. But Ella was always catching Max Pepper staring at her, which made her feel so uncomfortable. She’d wonder whether she had food stuck in her teeth, or whether her hair was lifting out of control, or whether Dixon had been spotted… or whether Max Pepper was staring at her just because she was plain odd. It was nothing short of discombobulating!

  Ella left the dining hall, her head held high. There was no way she was going to tell Max about her bad dreams. She wanted nothing to do with him! He made her feel like a freak! What were her friends thinking?

  In Environmental Science however, Ella found herself peering over at Max surreptitiously. He was slumped at a desk near the window, glowering. The sunlight caught the curls in his hair so they flickered and spat in time with his mood.

  She looked about at the other Salamanders in class, sitting up straight and strong. Ella was so private she’d never want to talk to any of those Salamander Flitterwigs.

  As the Environmental Science professor droned on about the dangers of computers, microwave ovens and mobile phones, Ella found herself staring at Max and doing her best to get past the fact that he made her feel so uncomfortable.

  She knew what it felt like to be less
able than her peers. Yes, she had some wonderful powers, unknown to others, but she was an Elven Flitterwig and she couldn’t even spin elf dust! It was frustrating not being able to do what you were meant to be able to do.

  And Ella was terribly concerned for her missing friends—the friendly Giants Thomas and Bolgus Brackenrack. They had helped her save Dixon only a year ago and she wanted to repay their kindness. If there was a connection between her dreams and their current predicament, she must try to understand it. Perhaps discussing this coincidence with a particular Salamander before alerting the more powerful Flitterwigs in her world wasn’t such a bad idea after all…

  She looked at Max once more. He was leaning right over his shirt and fiddling about, concentrating so hard, it was as if his life depended on it. Then he straightened up.

  He had a tiny ladybird on his finger. He held it up to the open window and blew it to freedom with such care and gentleness it quite caught Ella by surprise.

  chapter 3

  carnivals & cluelessness

  In the high-ceilinged corridors on the way to Instinctamology, all talk was of Carnival, at the end of the year, a welcome distraction for Ella and her friends.

  ‘I just can’t decide whether to enter the Animumble or the Objectification category,’ blabbered Charlie. His feet spun beneath him, dying to run, as is a Goblin Flitterwig’s wont. ‘I mean, it would be really cool if I entered Animumble with a penguin,’ he said, ‘seeing as they’re meant to be really hard to understand, but I actually got quite good at it when we were in Antarctica!’ His button nose crinkled up with pride. ‘Hmm, where could I get a penguin from?’

  Charlie paused, deep in thought. There was no doubt about it, he was terribly excited about Carnival but he was also ever so aware that a part of him was actually babbling on in order to relieve the growing worry lines on Ella’s face. He took a breath. Yes. Distraction might be the very best thing for her right now.

  ‘And then I think, now that I’ve cracked Freezification,’ he continued, ‘maybe I should just use Harold and do that. That’d be easy, too.’ He patted Harold, who was perched on his shoulder. The frog was sitting jubiantly atop Dixon, whose hat had been pulled right over his head and down to his feet. Harold croaked crossly.

  It was true, Charlie had recently managed to Freezify his pet frog for a full minute and a half, and that was pretty powerful magic indeed. Even though Charlie couldn’t so much as make a carrot uproot itself, or even a flower bloom (in fact, all plantlife seemed to wilt beneath his touch), he was brilliant with animals!

  ‘But then Alfred, that Elf Flitterwig, is the best at that in class,’ Charlie admitted, ‘so I’m thinking, maybe I should stick to Animumble, but then…’

  Samantha, Ella and Humphrey moved on and left Charlie behind to gibber to a couple of Flitterwigs who still cared to listen. Not a one of them noticed that the moment Ella was out of his sight, he fell back and his face crumpled up with concern.

  Carnival was a wonderful event. Flitterwigs picked their strongest Magical skill, explained how it helped the natural environment and then displayed this skill in a grand fete. All skills were, of course, meant to have a higher environmental purpose, but sometimes the thrill of the show took precedence!

  Some Flitterwigs demonstrated their flying skills and how this aided cloud movement, others their speed and its assistance in grass growth. Some enchanted their friends and made them do all sorts of silly things, like change colours or bounce on their bottoms like beach balls. Others made inanimate objects do their bidding—like sending spoons into the garden to plant seeds by themselves, or Personifying baskets and making them sing while collecting tomatoes.

  Samantha intended to drag her sullen friend Humphrey through a bush of stinging nettles and then cure him of the rash in ten minutes flat. Humphrey, it is hardly surprising, was not keen on this idea at all. Not one bit of his round face and dark eyes liked Samantha’s idea at all. He was far too cool for stinging nettles.

  But then again, it wasn’t as if Humphrey’s demonstration was going to be especially thrilling. His only great skill was being able to Bongle. To Bongle oneself was to make oneself invisible, and being the only Moglin at school (Moglins are terribly rare) Humphrey was unique in this ability.

  Bongling was certainly impressive, but Humphrey had done it last year and the year before that and the year before that. To perform the same Moglin skill again seemed too boring for words, particularly as Humphrey had recently heard a report from the Library of Memories that Moglins used to be able to control the weather. Apparently, due to their affinity with the moon, Moglins once had an incredible command of meteorology. The uncovered memory showed them quieting raging winds, turning pouring rain to drizzle and EVEN settling volcanoes before they were about to erupt. Oh how Humphrey longed to do something like that!

  Ella, on the other hand, really didn’t have a clue what she could do. She was possibly the best skateboarder at Hedgeberry, but skateboarding was hardly a Magical skill, even if she did use her wings to help her with her kickflips, pop shuvits and verts.

  It wasn’t as though Ella was without other talents—she could Stretchify and Shrinkify people, the most powerful Magic of all—but, if revealed, these talents would make it clear Ella was the Clearheart, and that was simply out of the question!

  As an Elven Flitterwig all Ella really wanted to be able to do, of course, was spray elf dust. But she could hardly do that at all. Other Elves in her year were way ahead of her, forcing her to settle on Ponkalucka enchantments, instead. In fairness, she was particularly good at Ponkalucka enchantments, but she was almost too much so (Ponkaluckas would do practically anything for her) which meant she ran the risk of drawing attention to herself—the exact thing she didn’t want to do. It was a hopeless situation!

  She sighed.

  Samantha gave her a reassuring squeeze. ‘You’ll think of something,’ she said, sensing her friend’s uncertainty.

  ‘I’m going to turn a pool of water the colour of rainbows,’ boasted a Marshlin Flitterwig behind them, all things aquatic being a Marshlin’s area of expertise.

  ‘Well I’m going to spell out the letters of the alphabet in the school pond with one hundred goldfish,’ said another.

  ‘Big deal,’ said Gloria Ulnus, appearing out of nowhere and poking her nose in the air, primly. ‘For me, all the trees on the perimeter of the school grounds will perform a breathtaking branch dance.’

  Gloria was impressing no-one. Instead, almost everyone turned their back on her and carried on talking.

  Even though Gloria hated Ella’s guts, it still didn’t feel fair to Ella that no-one at school would be the girl’s friend because her father was a notorious prison escapee.

  Ella edged closer and tried to smile at Gloria. Gloria glared and moved away, which was no less than Ella expected. But it didn’t stop her trying—Ella was like a puppy dog that way.

  chapter 4

  misfits & memories

  By the time they reached class, Gloria had left Ella’s mind entirely, however, for Dixon had been returned to her and he had gone a little bonkers!

  Having unpacked himself from his hat, he had finally put two and two together—linking Ella’s bad dreams and the news headlines—and he was in quite a panic.

  ‘Oh my, oh my,’ Dixon shrieked at the top of his voice in a most exaggerated manner as Ella tucked him hurriedly into her pocket to muffle his cries. ‘Dream, scream, what could it mean? Gotta get help. Could be danger, stranger. Aaargh, billowdidargh!’

  Ella slipped around the back of the Instinctamology turret and pulled the hysterical pixie out of her pocket.

  ‘Will you hush?’ she said, as sternly as she could. ‘I’m worried about Thomas and Bolgus, too, but I need you to stay quiet for me.’

  She drew him up in her fist so she was looking in his eyes. His arms flapped about in her grip like he was some sort of discombobulated puppet. His wriggling feet booted Ella’s chin, and she couldn’t help but smile
. Dixon was so dramatic!

  She directed the pointing finger of her free hand at Dixon and tried to spray him with some sleep-inducing elf dust. As usual, it threatened to sprinkle for a moment and then disappeared, like a sneeze that just refused to come out.

  Dixon looked at her wobbling finger indignantly. Was she about to try what he thought she was? Ella squinted at him apologetically and tried again as he wriggled and squirmed.

  Nothing. She sighed as she realised she would have to conjure up a Ponkalucka instead.

  Ella closed her eyes and squeezed them tight until she could see the familiar rainbow of circles gather. She tweaked her ear with her free hand and one of the circles popped out of her tear duct. It was a solitary purple bubble, the colour of Magical protection.

  ‘Don’t you even dare, scare, hairy, bear!’ Dixon squeaked, as the purple bubble hovered over his head.

  The Ponkalucka popped and sprayed the pixie. In an instant, his head lolled back and his eyes closed.

  A little snore stole through his nose and out of his mouth. He was fast asleep, just as Ella had wished.

  She kissed the pixie’s cap, tucked him into her pocket and crept back around the turret to mingle with the rest of her class.

  The air was still awash with chatter about Carnival as Mrs Howzatful, the Instinctamology teacher, arrived and ushered them all up into the heights of the turret. She was a magnificent woman who wore very large, very round, sparkling orange spectacles that seemed to magnify her beautiful eyes so much that they almost filled her lenses. And they looked all the bigger for she had a fine and delicate nose. Her hair was long and curly and wonderfully shiny. It was a burning auburn colour, matching her perfectly-tweezed eyebrows. As a Salamander Flitterwig, she was as elegant and tall and luminous as was expected of her kind.

  The children followed her around the steep, spiralling staircase up to her laboratory, using the ancient grey bricks that poked out like squires to help them.